WHAT IN THE WHAT???...

In the spirit of the election I am taking a poll. I just uttered a sentence to myself and I want to know if anyone else out there has ever spoken these words aloud: Are you ready?

"Why are there flyswatters (yes, plural) in my washer?"

As the mother of teen/tween daughters and the wife of a very mature man, I am having a very hard time figuring out how and why this is an event in my day. It would be perfectly understandable if my kids were small, but...

I have been a parent long enough to know that you 'eat a lot of crow' when you have kids (gross! what does that even mean? seriously not understanding. but, I digress) and that you will hear and say things that you never in a bazillionty years think you would hear or say. A classic story was from my cousin, 'A'. She was on the the phone with her SIL and the conversation went something like this...:

A: "blahbity blahbity blabbity blah"
S:  " hahahahaha" (cuz A is super funny)
A: "I KNOW"
S: "A, hold on. 'AUSTIN, QUIT PEEING ON YOUR SISTER'! Ok, I'm back. blahbity blabbity blah"

My favorite story from the Karacian archive is one that comes to mind every time I see a litter box. When Cate was potty training, she had to go and Ali wouldn't get off the 'training mechanism'. I heard them on the verge of meltdown (a 5 year old and a 2 year old whiny one) and headed toward the bathroom to break it up. I opened the door just in time to see Cate taking matters in her own hands and doing her business in the litter box. Pretty genius idea, if you ask me, but I may be a little bias.

Things like this happen everyday to parents and we take it in stride and, in the process, give others great stories to remember for years to come. I bet 'S' doesn't even remember that, but I will never forget 'A' in hysterics over that story.

As mystified as I am by finding these swatters in the washer, I realize that since my kids have gotten older I miss these oddities that are normal with young'uns in the house. However, Cate is very good at letting me find the milk in the pantry (she is not really a morning person, therefore she pretty much sleep walks through her first hour vertical) and I laugh every time. When we had a home phone, it was nothing for me to find the phone in the fridge a handful of times a month. THESE are the memories that I am so thankful to have burned into my brain.

Well, I must get back to cleaning/continuing my scavenger hunt! Have a groovy day and ENJOY THE MEMORIES THAT YOUR KIDS ARE MAKING FOR YOU!

Thank You. Danke. Gracias. Domo. Grazie. Spanks.

As I look around my quiet home this beautiful morning, I am overcome with a great feeling of calm and thankfulness. God has blessed me beyond anything I deserve and I know that each of you are one of his gifts to me. Even though we don't talk every day and I don't tell you enough, I love you and am thankful. SOOOOO,  I want to take some time to publicly do so now...

Ben - Thank you for being the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. Your unconditional love (yep, I know it is, because how else could you have put up with 21 years of this?) is what gets me through the day. 

My main man. The love of my life.

Ali - Thank you for being my parental guinea pig. I take great comfort in the fact that you are relatively normal, despite the greenness of your parents at the time of your birth, and that we can actually use your college fund for college instead of paying for therapy.

The spitting image of her father. The wit twin of her mother.

Cate - Thank you for being the sweetest, most loving, person I have ever known. You are my heart.

My sweet little Peach. We have been buddies since they cut her from my womb. My goal is that she ALWAYS looks at me like this. Ps - Kate Gosselin stole the hair from ME!

Mom - Thanks for always saying something so completely random that I am stunned into silence before I bust out in snort-a-laughs.

This is where I got my ability to not take life too seriously. She is a hoot!

Dad - Thank you for passing on your love of all things old and your beautiful blue eyes to me. I am in awe of the wonderful man that you are.

The most Godly man I know. I love being a daddy's girl.

Pat - Thank you for being such a wonderful example of what a mother-in-law should be. I am so very lucky to have you as a second mom. Oh yeah, thanks for birthing your awesome son!

Momma 2 and the hubs. I couldn't love her more if she made me herself!

Ber - Thank you for growing up to be someone I no longer want to stab. I am so proud of the woman you have become.

Me and my beautiful sis. I'm glad I didn't kill her when we were younger, because I really like her now :)

Nick - Thank you for being me, in a slightly taller body. I can't even imagine my life without you. 

My *Soul Sister* - nuff' said!

Ang - Thank you for the endless conversations about absolutely nothing. You know 'big brother' gets a HUGE laugh out of our phone calls. In the words of Forrest Gump, "You were my first good friend".

Ang and me at Grams. We were totally old enough to rock these half shirts! Schmexy toddlers!

Carrie - Thank you for being such a beautiful person, both inside and out. Your positivity and goodness are what makes me blessed to know you, not only as a cousin, but as a best friend.

My Care-Bear. Love her to bits!

Lisa - Thank you for always saying something to make me laugh. Your gift with (four letter) words is really a thing of beauty :)

My teddy bear. This one has a heart of gold.

I love each and every one of you exactly the way you are. I thank God every day for placing you in my life, and placing me in yours. I can't imagine my life with out you all in it! 

And for all my other friends, I thank you for reading this and being a part of my life, in one way or another. I am thankful for each of you for 'liking' all my pics of my kids, dogs, and dinner.

Charlie Brown's teacher said it best. "Wha Wha Wha. Wha Wha"...

All this craptacular television coverage of the RNC and DNC has my ears playing tricks on me. I swear when the folks on the stage open their mouths all I hear is the teacher from Charlie Brown; "WHA WHA WHA. WHA WHA". So, in the spirit of the season, I am going to make some promises that I know I won't keep:

1) I will exercise everyday.
2) I will try to reel in my road rage habit (definitely FALSE! Have you seen all the idiots on the road?).
3) I will stop eating sweets.
4) I will finally read The Woman In White that my wonderful neighbor told me to read 20 years ago,     because it sits on my book shelf making me feel a twinge of guilt every time I see it ( that 'because' was another lie).
5) I will keep my car clean.
6) I will stop looking for cute scrub tops on ebay every day.
7) I will try to tone down my 'slight' addiction to all smell goods. I can't help that my olfactory nerves love to be stimulated and that they have complete control of my credit card!
8) I will stop being a over-protective parent and give my kids a little more freedom (this one I really do need to work on. They are awesome kids and have earned it, I am just a freak!).
9) I will quit asking Ben to rub my feet nightly, and instead, I will rub his (HAHAHA. LIES!).
10) I will take a hearty multi-vitamin every morning.
11) I will stop obsessing on how to inexpensively clone Hank (but seriously, I need about 10 more of him).
12) I won't stay up until midnight reading every night.
13) I won't freak out if the girls' rooms appear to be the subject of some scientific experiment on 'hey, can you guess that smell'.
14) I won't speed.
15) I won't put my Christmas decorations up in October.
16) I won't drink my weight in McDonald's sweet tea every month (large sweet tea, lite ice, thank you very much!).
17) I won't forget to set own my alarm when Ben is out of town (at almost 40, this happens a lot more than I care to admit. I think I rely on him TOO much).
18) I won't walk into Target for Tide and walk out with 12 bags of stuff that 'I had to have'.
19) I won't waste my brain cells on the likes of Honey Boo Boo (Oh, the goodness of this show! It's a train wreck with a family full of redneck cherries on top!).
and finally...
20) I'll quit making fun in stick figure decals (NEVAH!!!!!!)