Dr. 90210. Paging Dr. 90210...

Where is Dr. Rey when you need him? I took my little angel (I use that term only because I feel sorry for her at the moment) to her 6 months check up today. The vet looked at her teeth ("pearly white" was what she said about them), looked in her ears ("looks great" she said), listened to her heart and belly ("nice strong heartbeat and the belly sounds great" she said), checked her hips ("sturdy hips" she said). "Now let's roll her over and see how that belly looks"...here is where it gets interesting. She cocks her head and I hear a quiet "Hmmmm". She then proceeds to give the equivalent of what I consider a gyno exam to my angel (this is why I currently feel sorry for her; she will resume her Satan-spawn status soon, I am sure of it). She looks at me and asked, "Have you ever noticed how deep her vulva is"? My reply was what I expect a normal person's response would be, "Uh, NO". She proceeds to poke and prod at my angel (who has now experienced what Alien abductees feel like after a good ole probing) and show me where it 'should' be. I am both horrified and embarrassed (like this is something she has inherited from me, since I AM her mother, after all). All the while, my angel is looking at me and I can hear her shouting at the vet with her best Steve Martin impression..."EXCUUUUUUSE YOU"! During her exploration of the angels nether regions she discovered that she has a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection, for all you lucky souls that are unfamiliar with that term) and that this is a result of her "deep vulva" and will continue to happen unless we remedy the situation. I ask how we do that. Her response...wait for it..... a VULVAPLASTY. My response, again, was what I expect a normal person's response would be, "I'm sorry, come again. A WHAT"?

So, long story short. When she goes in to be fixed next month, she is going to have to get plastic surgery on her lady bidness. BIG FRICKIN WELCOME TO WOMANHOOD, MY LITTLE ANGEL!

New Adventures...

Hello all!!!! I'm sorry it's been a while. Just wanted to update you on the Karacian's!

We have gotten settled into our new digs in the politically corrupt state of Illinois. The kids are settling in like the champs that they are and making lots of new friends! Ali, however, is trying to find a foster family back in the Falls. She wants to move back there in the worst way. Caty is Caty, and is going with the flow. For being my shy child, has transitioned beautifully! I am so proud of my girls!

The dogs are loving their new back yard; they have an acre to ruin and enjoy every minute of it. There are tons of squirrels and chipmunks for Zoe and a family of deer and a lone red fox for Hank and Scarlet to torture... The back yard has already given Cate ample snowboarding practice. She is doing awesome on that thing!

Ben is loving is job, but is still gone to much for my liking... wait, maybe THAT'S why he loves it! :)

On my end, I have been busy making this place home. It's 80% there, but we have time! I have also started selling Scentsy, so let me know if you would like to know more about it or need to place an order. I am really excited about this new adventure and I am looking forward to meeting fellow Chicagoins (Chicagoites, Chicagolivers?). https://tiffkaracia.scentsy.us

So, just in case you have been wondering, the Karacian's are wonderfully blessed in the tundra! If I don't post for awhile...MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Buehler. Buehler. Buehler...

Forgive me bloggers, for I have sinned. It has been two months (GASP!) since my last blog. I will try to update you on what has been going on with the Karacian's since we last spoke...

Well, let's see. My babies started a new school year. Ali is now an eigth grader and Caty is a fifth grader. Can you even believe it? How is it possible that I have kids that are that old and I am only 25? Things that make you go 'hmmmmmmmmmmm'.

Ben got another promotion so we are making like LeBron and hightailing it outta Cleveland, but instead of heading to a hot spot like Miami we are going the opposite direction and moving to Chicago. This will all be 'going down' in the next few weeks. Ben and I had it all planned out. We would fly to Chicago, go through some homes (or 50. Yep,we went through 50 homes), find the ones that we liked and then travel back a couple times until we found the perfect one for this next new adventure in our lives. It all was going so smoothly until we listed our house on Friday and sold it on Monday... that is when we lost the luxery of time and momma started to panic a smidge. I will never complain about selling our home so quickly, it was great! I just would have liked to know the teeny-tiny little detail of where we were relocating our furniture. But, I will not worry about it because the good Lord always takes care of us. We did decide on a great home that I hardly remember anything about...so it will be like Christmas morning when I pull in the driveway!

To make things just a little more exciting, we added to our brood! We are now the proud parents to Scarlet Grey Karacia (GO BUCKS!), a Chesapeake Bay Retriever (yes, another one! SHUT UP! I can hear you laughing from here!) Hank just didn't cause enough mischief or make enough mess for us, so we adopted his cousin (seriously. their mom's are sister's). We took him with us back to the farm where he was born to help us pick his new sibling. He looked around like he was disgusted that we would even subject him to all the butt sniffing (Hank has finally realized that he is a human, and not a dog, as his AKC papers suggest). Caty picked out little Scarlet and we love her so much. We, as in Ben, the girls, I. Hank tolerates her the way Zoe tolerates him...ahhhh, the circle of life!

So, that is a little update for ya! I am sure that I will have some more great stories to follow soon... like how we traveled from Cleveland to Chicago in a minivan, with 4 humans, 3 dogs, 2 turtle doves and a mom with drinking problem (I predict I will develop a drinking problem by then. We shall see).

Until next time...

The LeBron fire is going a bit to far...

OK. I admit it. I was as sad as everyone else (not from Miami) when I watched the train wreck on ESPN called THE DECISION. I was sad that we were not going to watch number 23 work his magic on the Cavs court anymore. I was sad that there would be no more 'across the way' sightings of the hometown hero. I was (most) sad that I could have bought a NICE Coach purse for the amount of money I had spent the season before to get the girls JAMES 23 team jerseys. I was sad the same way you would be sad that you lost one of your favorite $5.00 flip flops from Old Navy... meaning, I woke up the next day and I realized it was no big deal; life goes on. Then the backlash started! Listen people, I understand that I am not a sports fanatic like some out there. I enjoy watching the occasional game, but I won't be in a bad mood if 'my team' loses and I won't throw things at the TV if there is a bad call (both things I have seen adult men do {not Ben}. The radio coverage has been brutal (some deserved by The King) and really rude. Questioning his loyalty and values... c'mon. Get over it. YES, the Akron/Cleveland area has relied heavily on LeBron for 7 years and he has done great things in that time, but it is not fair to say that he is going to 'cause Cleveland to go bankrupt'. People should know better than to 'put all their eggs in one basket' and rest their futures and fortunes on the shoulders of a child (let's face it, I could almost be his mother). Yes, it was wrong how he dropped the bomb on those of us who have loved him in a Cavs jersey all these years. He should have came door to door and told us his intentions and apologized individually. Let's face it, if you are an adult and are still harping on this, you need to find a hobby! This was a business decision, plain and simple. He knew he was going to be disowned by his hometown with this decision, but it was his decision to make. Doesn't mean he has no loyalty to Akron and Cleveland. It means he is growing up and leaving the nest. Clevelanders will survive this 'crisis' and Akroners will embrace him again (when he comes back for his 50th SV/SM high school reunion, but LIFE WILL GO ON! Just put all that energy into cheering for the rest of the CAVS team! They are good. They played great in the finals when James was hurt... they pulled off the W's! They can do it without him... Lord knows they have more determination than ever to win now!!!

Really? It's half over?

Seriously, July! You couldn't have taken your sweet time getting here? Here we are, going on our merry way, enjoying relaxing pool time and then you have to come and ruin it! I LOVE summertime with the kids. I LOVE not rushing around. I LOVE not having hours of homework... I LOVE summer! But here comes July, like some Debby Downer at a party, and brings with it (GASP) school supply ads! COME ON!!!! Give me a break here! We still have lots to do, but once July rears it's ugly head, the rest of summer flies by! I guess I am going to have to drown my sorrows at the pool :)

It's a small world after all...

OK, so I love a good 'small world' story and I have a good one indeed! Tonight we took the dogs to the dog park, same one we go to all the time. We always have a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and a Rat Terrier in tow and almost everyone there knows Hank and Zoe. So they were playing with their friends tonight and we look at the walkway and see two women walking in with what appears to be a Chesy and a terrier. Well, this is ironic that 1.)they have as pets the exact dogs that we do and b.) it's a Chesy...other than his mom and siblings (an hour away, we haven't seen another). So they come in and Hank and this other Chesy hit it off like gangbusters! They are running and playing and having a great time. As we are watching, Hank gets a little 'Hanklike' and starts jumping on this dog. I said to the owner, "he's really friendly, he's just a pup. She said, 'It's OK. She is too. She is only 10 months old". I said, "so is he". Then we start looking at them and they look A LOT alike. I asked her where she got him and she said 'Doylestown'. I said, "oh, we got him in Uniontown'. She looked at her mom and said, "that sounds right". "How many was in his litter?", she asked. "10" I said. She said, "her too". Then she said, "is his birthday August 2nd?". We both cracked up. Hank had found his long lost sister!!!! These 2 had never been to this dog park before and we went later than usual! It was awesome!

The Hankpire Strikes Back... again

Forgive me bloggers, for I have sinned. It has been 2 months (gasp) since my last confession! The thing is, I am not a writer, per sa. I can't just sit down and put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard, if you want to get technical). I need inspiration, and aside from the daily chaos of this house, I haven't had anything out of the ordinary happen...UNTIL YESTERDAY!

In the summer, the kids and I are very busy; what with our hectic pool schedule and all. Well, yesterday was a particulary long day. We had lunch with a friend, then went straight to the pool, followed directly to Caty's soccer practice. Needless to say, this is WAY to long to leave even the most Dennising the Menacing of dogs in a cage. So, with MUCH thinking (but mostly guilt), I decided to go against all my better judgement and motherly instincts, and leave THE HANK out of his cage for the day...

I called Ben at work and told him he needed to leave work a little early just to go home and check on him and to make sure the house was still pretty much intact. Aside, of course, from the carpet, wood floors, and drywall that he has already destroyed (see previous blogs). He was so excited because the 'Ice Queen' has finally relented and left his beloved dog to roam freely in the house for the first time, that he happily agreed to the task.

All was well on the home front for the first check. Ben called and was happy as a dad could be about the progress that his baby was making (see previous blogs to be reminded of the his affection for this dog). So, off to soccer practice I go and off to get a hair cut he goes. Now, I have to admit, I am feeling really proud of myself for 'biting the bullet' and giving this dog some freedom AND that he is proving that he can handle it. (Time lapse here, and just picture what is going on at the Karacia's this go-round)...

Well, I pull on to my street and see that house still standing (good sign, #1). I pull in the garage and it is silent, which means he is not terrorizing Zoe (good sign #2). I walk into the house and it smells really good, almost dessert-like (good sign #3, no accidents)... then I start to wonder why my house smells chocolaty...

Backtracking a little here. For those of you that have been in the Karacia casa, you know that the majority of the downstairs is wood floors, which comes in really handy when you have pets. They only go onto the carpet when they need to get sick or have an accident (reason for the purchase of the bad ass carpet cleaner). So, you can imagine my surprise when I notice that Hank has carefully carried a container of cocoa powder from the kitchen island (a large area covered in wood floors) and not so carfully distributed said cocoa powder ALL OVER my beige carpeted living room floor. It was a beautifully display of brown and beige, and the cherry on top was a tiny little rat terrier rolling around in it marking her territory.

The best part was that Ben walked in the door right after me so he saw first hand the shock on my face (laced perfectly with and "I told you so" smirk. His only sound was a long, drawn out "DAAAAMMMMMNNNN". He then proceeded to the closet and was able to use that bad ass carpet cleaner himself, and I proceeded to the grocery and bought some cocoa powder. I only wish I was in the right frome of mind to snap pictures of this... and just so you know, the BACC works AWESOME!