What do Dennis the Menace, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Gary Busey, Paris Hilton, Hannibal Lecter, and Sasquatch all have in common? Give up? They are all fictitious characters/caricatures that cause massive amounts of trouble wherever they go...well, all but Dennis the Menace. He is real and just happens to be my beautiful nephew T(shout-out to Senor Sassypants)!
I was thinking about troublemakers [again] this morning as I was pulling the rolls of toilet paper out of Scarlet's mouth [again]! As I was jogging circles around the kitchen table chasing my angel, I was trying to think of a word to describe her and the 'lust for life' zeal that she brings to our home on an every second basis. Could it be 'feral'? 'Untamed' maybe? 'Tempestuous' even crossed my mind. In the end I came to the conclusion that there is not one single word that can pinpoint her. If I had to describe her I would have to say she is "The bane of my existence. The one who drives me crazy every single second I am home. The one who requires more attention than all 6 of the other living creatures in my house ~ COMBINED. The one that is smart enough to open an automatic trash can and open the back door herself when she is ready to come in, but still hasn't learned what 'don't jump' or 'stay' mean. The one that is so socially bitchy to my other dogs that I am afraid to take her in public for fear of how she will treat others {I'd know it's 'all talk', but they wouldn't}. The one that LOVES more than anything to snack on toilet paper all day. The one that has a setting three times higher than her older, much bigger brother, for her shock collar." I think that is a good way to START to describe her to anyone that doesn't know her. This dog has driven me to make my wine glass a little fuller at dinner on many occasions.
That being said, when she isn't causing me to batten down the hatches, she is a doll. She loves to curl up on the couch at night and sleep, chasing whatever she is torturing in her dreams. She loves to 'protect' me from Hank when he wants my attention. She makes me laugh a hundred times a day in a hundred different ways.
I wanted her because I wanted another dog just like Hank, and I managed to pick the one that only has their breed in common. And for that, as much as I complain, I am grateful. She is gong to get out of this puppy stage soon (please God)and will be the dog that I know she can be. Until then, I will keep drinking and supplying you with funny (for you) stories about my dysfunctional dog.
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