Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?...

I see brown back hair looking at me. 

I read this Eric Carle book hundreds of times over the first several years of my girls' childhoods. They loved his books. Although I took the liberties to change it up a bit in this post, that book title was the first thing that popped into my head at 3:45 this morning when I woke up sandwiched between twin-like sights. 

Picture this: As I am sleeping soundly on my right side, I am awaken by something pressing into the length of my back and head. It (he) is running at a marathoners pace in his sleep, probably chasing some very scary chipmunks from our yard. I feel the wiry back hairs of my Hank sticking into my exposed neck. In front of me is the wiry back hairs of my main man, the love of my life. Why I am pressed up against him baffles me, for I LOATHE touching anything but my pillow and blanket while I sleep. (Maybe it had something to do with the 130 pounds of chipmunk hunter at my back). I know that I must release myself from this prickly slow death, so I TRY (have you ever been trapped between two cement slabs? I'm sure this was a close second) to rotate my body so that one or both will move, but this only makes the running at my back turn into a sprint and the steady breaths at my front turn into snores that actually sound like they could be coming from a brown bear. #FAIL

Needless to say, the longer I laid there and started picturing what we looked like, the funnier it became. I let out a little chuckle, and wouldn't you know it, the chipmunk hunter lifted his head, looked at me, let out a disgusted sigh (which I can only translate to "Thanks a pant load for waking me up. What kind of idiot laughs in the middle of the night?", and hopped down on his bed.( Remember, he has a twin size bed in our room, but apparently it's not big enough for him. )

So, boys and girls, the lesson for today is this... If you ever find yourself sandwiched between two brown bears, just laugh. Or not. Actually I think you are supposed to play dead or ring a bell, or something like that, but the laughing worked for me.

Artist rendering of what went down

WHAT IN THE WHAT???...

In the spirit of the election I am taking a poll. I just uttered a sentence to myself and I want to know if anyone else out there has ever spoken these words aloud: Are you ready?

"Why are there flyswatters (yes, plural) in my washer?"

As the mother of teen/tween daughters and the wife of a very mature man, I am having a very hard time figuring out how and why this is an event in my day. It would be perfectly understandable if my kids were small, but...

I have been a parent long enough to know that you 'eat a lot of crow' when you have kids (gross! what does that even mean? seriously not understanding. but, I digress) and that you will hear and say things that you never in a bazillionty years think you would hear or say. A classic story was from my cousin, 'A'. She was on the the phone with her SIL and the conversation went something like this...:

A: "blahbity blahbity blabbity blah"
S:  " hahahahaha" (cuz A is super funny)
A: "I KNOW"
S: "A, hold on. 'AUSTIN, QUIT PEEING ON YOUR SISTER'! Ok, I'm back. blahbity blabbity blah"

My favorite story from the Karacian archive is one that comes to mind every time I see a litter box. When Cate was potty training, she had to go and Ali wouldn't get off the 'training mechanism'. I heard them on the verge of meltdown (a 5 year old and a 2 year old whiny one) and headed toward the bathroom to break it up. I opened the door just in time to see Cate taking matters in her own hands and doing her business in the litter box. Pretty genius idea, if you ask me, but I may be a little bias.

Things like this happen everyday to parents and we take it in stride and, in the process, give others great stories to remember for years to come. I bet 'S' doesn't even remember that, but I will never forget 'A' in hysterics over that story.

As mystified as I am by finding these swatters in the washer, I realize that since my kids have gotten older I miss these oddities that are normal with young'uns in the house. However, Cate is very good at letting me find the milk in the pantry (she is not really a morning person, therefore she pretty much sleep walks through her first hour vertical) and I laugh every time. When we had a home phone, it was nothing for me to find the phone in the fridge a handful of times a month. THESE are the memories that I am so thankful to have burned into my brain.

Well, I must get back to cleaning/continuing my scavenger hunt! Have a groovy day and ENJOY THE MEMORIES THAT YOUR KIDS ARE MAKING FOR YOU!

Thank You. Danke. Gracias. Domo. Grazie. Spanks.

As I look around my quiet home this beautiful morning, I am overcome with a great feeling of calm and thankfulness. God has blessed me beyond anything I deserve and I know that each of you are one of his gifts to me. Even though we don't talk every day and I don't tell you enough, I love you and am thankful. SOOOOO,  I want to take some time to publicly do so now...

Ben - Thank you for being the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. Your unconditional love (yep, I know it is, because how else could you have put up with 21 years of this?) is what gets me through the day. 

My main man. The love of my life.

Ali - Thank you for being my parental guinea pig. I take great comfort in the fact that you are relatively normal, despite the greenness of your parents at the time of your birth, and that we can actually use your college fund for college instead of paying for therapy.

The spitting image of her father. The wit twin of her mother.

Cate - Thank you for being the sweetest, most loving, person I have ever known. You are my heart.

My sweet little Peach. We have been buddies since they cut her from my womb. My goal is that she ALWAYS looks at me like this. Ps - Kate Gosselin stole the hair from ME!

Mom - Thanks for always saying something so completely random that I am stunned into silence before I bust out in snort-a-laughs.

This is where I got my ability to not take life too seriously. She is a hoot!

Dad - Thank you for passing on your love of all things old and your beautiful blue eyes to me. I am in awe of the wonderful man that you are.

The most Godly man I know. I love being a daddy's girl.

Pat - Thank you for being such a wonderful example of what a mother-in-law should be. I am so very lucky to have you as a second mom. Oh yeah, thanks for birthing your awesome son!

Momma 2 and the hubs. I couldn't love her more if she made me herself!

Ber - Thank you for growing up to be someone I no longer want to stab. I am so proud of the woman you have become.

Me and my beautiful sis. I'm glad I didn't kill her when we were younger, because I really like her now :)

Nick - Thank you for being me, in a slightly taller body. I can't even imagine my life without you. 

My *Soul Sister* - nuff' said!

Ang - Thank you for the endless conversations about absolutely nothing. You know 'big brother' gets a HUGE laugh out of our phone calls. In the words of Forrest Gump, "You were my first good friend".

Ang and me at Grams. We were totally old enough to rock these half shirts! Schmexy toddlers!

Carrie - Thank you for being such a beautiful person, both inside and out. Your positivity and goodness are what makes me blessed to know you, not only as a cousin, but as a best friend.

My Care-Bear. Love her to bits!

Lisa - Thank you for always saying something to make me laugh. Your gift with (four letter) words is really a thing of beauty :)

My teddy bear. This one has a heart of gold.

I love each and every one of you exactly the way you are. I thank God every day for placing you in my life, and placing me in yours. I can't imagine my life with out you all in it! 

And for all my other friends, I thank you for reading this and being a part of my life, in one way or another. I am thankful for each of you for 'liking' all my pics of my kids, dogs, and dinner.

Charlie Brown's teacher said it best. "Wha Wha Wha. Wha Wha"...

All this craptacular television coverage of the RNC and DNC has my ears playing tricks on me. I swear when the folks on the stage open their mouths all I hear is the teacher from Charlie Brown; "WHA WHA WHA. WHA WHA". So, in the spirit of the season, I am going to make some promises that I know I won't keep:

1) I will exercise everyday.
2) I will try to reel in my road rage habit (definitely FALSE! Have you seen all the idiots on the road?).
3) I will stop eating sweets.
4) I will finally read The Woman In White that my wonderful neighbor told me to read 20 years ago,     because it sits on my book shelf making me feel a twinge of guilt every time I see it ( that 'because' was another lie).
5) I will keep my car clean.
6) I will stop looking for cute scrub tops on ebay every day.
7) I will try to tone down my 'slight' addiction to all smell goods. I can't help that my olfactory nerves love to be stimulated and that they have complete control of my credit card!
8) I will stop being a over-protective parent and give my kids a little more freedom (this one I really do need to work on. They are awesome kids and have earned it, I am just a freak!).
9) I will quit asking Ben to rub my feet nightly, and instead, I will rub his (HAHAHA. LIES!).
10) I will take a hearty multi-vitamin every morning.
11) I will stop obsessing on how to inexpensively clone Hank (but seriously, I need about 10 more of him).
12) I won't stay up until midnight reading every night.
13) I won't freak out if the girls' rooms appear to be the subject of some scientific experiment on 'hey, can you guess that smell'.
14) I won't speed.
15) I won't put my Christmas decorations up in October.
16) I won't drink my weight in McDonald's sweet tea every month (large sweet tea, lite ice, thank you very much!).
17) I won't forget to set own my alarm when Ben is out of town (at almost 40, this happens a lot more than I care to admit. I think I rely on him TOO much).
18) I won't walk into Target for Tide and walk out with 12 bags of stuff that 'I had to have'.
19) I won't waste my brain cells on the likes of Honey Boo Boo (Oh, the goodness of this show! It's a train wreck with a family full of redneck cherries on top!).
and finally...
20) I'll quit making fun in stick figure decals (NEVAH!!!!!!)

To Sleep, Or Not To Sleep...

We have already established in previous posts that I am getting old and frail, so this next bit won't surprise you in the least...

I am currently on my third pillow in as many months! I wake up (that is, of course, when I am able to sleep) with a headache and neck pain DAILY! I am on a first name basis with my chiropractors, whom I get the pleasure to see once, sometimes twice, a week! I am living in HELL, and hell has crappy pillows!

I am starting a new mission: OPERATION FINDANEWPILLOWORSTARTLOSINGFRIENDS! I am not sure how well my followers know me, but to say that I am unpleasant when tired is a gargantuan understatement. I am down right evil, and I own it. Even my hard-ass friend Nickie is afraid to cross me when I have 'the look' about me. So, you see, I need to rectify this massive problem, STAT!

this is me in the morning. lucky Ben

Here is a list of pillows I have tried in no particular order (I know. You are saying "Who gives a flying frack what order she tried them in". I don't care either, but I really like to draw out my posts):

WATER PILLOW - LOVED it, but it does puncture when stepped on by family members with talons.

FIRM - too firm

FEATHER -  felt like I was getting suffocated by Big Bird

MEMORY FOAM - liked it the first night, then I think it forgot what it's job was. IT SUCKS!

MATTRESS - I tried sleeping without a pillow. WHAT? Who am I, a cave man?

What am I missing? There has to be the perfect pillow out there for my dainty head. I mean, c'mon! Look at that mug! What pillow WOULDN'T want to snuggle up to that every night? When Ben came downstairs this morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed and said "Who did you sleep, Love Face?" I simply grunted and reiterated my need to find a new pillow. His response was a loving "Another high maintenance demand". Believe me, he wants me to find a gateway to sleep more than anyone! He bears the brunt of my ire when Mr. Sandman eludes me. Bless his patient heart.

Needless to say, on my list of things to do this weekend, finding a pillow is #1! If anyone has ANY suggestions I would greatly appreciate them!

Look at that girl with the Daisy Don'ts on!

Here is a little something to listen to while you are reading this entry...

Click here for some ear candy for your reading enjoyment

You're welcome.

Ok, boys and girls (but mostly girls), today's lesson is on proper self-display etiquette. I have been disgusted for years at how young girls (and older ones, alike) are leaving very little to the imagination when it comes to wearing shorts, so I thought it would be helpful (let's face it, I am nothing if not helpful) for me to break it down into a few simple steps for you.

1.) IF YOU HAVE TO SHAVE OR WAX IN ORDER TO WEAR THEM, THEY ARE TOO SHORT!

you missed a spot

The sad part about this 'phenomanon' is that there seems to be no minimum age to start donning these hooker shorts. Some of the shorts I have seen in Abercrombie make the US Sand Volleyball 'uniforms' seem conservative. Parents, please FORTHELOVEOFGOD, before you buy that 4 inches of denim for your daughters, think of all of the perverts that are going to be ogling your little princess and JUST SAY NO!

2.) IF YOUR BATHING SUIT BOTTOMS HAVE MORE MATERIAL THAN YOUR SHORTS, THEY ARE TOO SHORT!

can we stop at the beach later?

This one is pretty self explanatory.

3.) IF YOU HAVE GIVEN BIRTH, IT'S MOST DEFINITELY TIME TO RETIRE THE DAISY DUKES!

mom o' the year

"The best accessory for my daisy dukes is my baby's stroller", said NO ONE EVER! The fact that you are pushing a stroller and video taping your angel frolicking in the water fountain should be all the proof needed that your hooker shorts days are behind you! What makes me gag even more is when I see mom and daughter wearing almost identical DD shorts while out and about!

4.) (thought this would be a given BUT there is always one person that ruins it for everyone)
IF YOU ARE 20 YEARS POST MENOPAUSE, THEY ARE TOO SHORT!

catherine bach on her way to shady pines

If you have to wash your dentures while your dukes are in the rinse cycle, it's time to retire them. But let's face it, you still can't quit looking at this picture.

Listen girls, I know that you are young and proud of your bodies, BUT, there is a very fine line between self confidence and looking like a skank. Maybe it's not that fine of a line, but please have a little self respect along with that self confidence. Think about how you want to portray yourself and how you want others to perceive you.

Parents, please take note that those shorty shorts you are buying for your daughters have the potential to be a 'gateway drug' to shorter shorts and less clothing.

"look ma, no pants"

If you ask me, this is the way to go!

mom jeans!!!!

He who laughs last has the last laugh. Ponder that...

Lesson of the week, heard and learned loud and clear...

IF YOUR LAST THOUGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT IS 'THIS IS MY LAST THURSDAY THAT I WILL GET TO SLEEP IN FOR 9 MONTHS' THEN YOU WILL MOST DEFINITELY BE AWAKEN AT 5:40 A.M.

       * As I was nuzzling into my cozy bed last night I was so looking forward to sleeping in one last Thursday. My goal was to not see the clock until it said at least 8:00 a.m.. Next week would involve school and lunches and all the morning craziness that goes along with it, so I was bound and determined to SLEEP IN! Fast-forward to the panic...

Ben: "GET UP! It's 20 til 6!"
Me:  "IT'S THURSDAY* (she said VERY grouch-ily)"
Ben: "Oh yeah, sorry"
Me:  "GRRRRRR"

He then heads to the bathroom where he flips the light on and the reflection of the six overhead bulbs bounces off of the 6 foot mirror and directly onto my eyeballs.

**Slight dramatization of actual brightness**
                               

Me:  "SHUT THE DOOR!!!!"
Ben: "You better shut something!"
Me:  "GRRRRRRR"

I am just about to drift off again, for it is now 18 til 6, when all of the sudden I realize that there is an earthquake, registering about a 7.5, violently shaking the room. Alarmed, I sit up and see that the quake is coming in the form of a very handsome 130 pound bundle of love who has joined me in bed. He is panting so hard that the whole bed appears to heaving to and fro and jostling my tired brain out of the 'slumber' it was {almost} in.

"Hi Mom. Look how handsome I am. It's time to get up."

Ben must have heard my brain bouncing around in oblivion because he chooses this moment to open the bathroom door again and the 24,000 watts of blinding light hits me square in the iris ( or is it irises You can't honestly expect me to know this right now. I am BLIND, remember!)

Me: "YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME!!!!!!"
Hank: "Pant Pant Pant Drool Pant"
Ben: "Good morning Sunshine"
Me: "GRRRRRRRR"
Hank: "Pant Pant Pant Drool Pant Lick Pant"
Ben: "I love you. Have a great day"
Me: "GRRRRR! I love you too"
Hank: "Pant Pant Pant Lick Self Pant Then Lick Mom in Her mouth while she's making that GRRRRR sound Pant Pant Drool
Me: " HANK SERIOUSLY!"
Ben: "TEE HEE"

So, by 6:00 a.m. I am awake and ready to Carpe the Diem all up in here! (If anyone tries to correct this last sentence I will shank you. I know that it makes no sense but I am tired and still slightly blind, so BACK OFF!) I have had my coffee* so the early hour doesn't seem so bad now. I'm sitting here in my quiet house (for my kids and dogs are sound asleep) watching the rain soak everything outside. As I type this I am serenaded by the sounds of thunder and snoring pups. I am a lucky lady. My coffee cup definitely runneth over!

Have a blessed Thursday



* I don't work Thursday mornings

* apparently, the distilled water I use to make my coffee everyday is not really meant to be consumed. It is mostly for cleaning small appliances. Why did I not know this? Why did I just find out about this yesterday? I am officially blaming my wrinkles and gray hair on all the DW I have drank all these years!

Aging Wisely...

Here are some fun facts about the number 38, according to wikipedia:
* The number of games that each team in the current English Premiership, the top     division in English Association Football, plays in a season
* Bill C-38 legalized same-sex marriage in Canada
* The number of years it took the Israelites to travel from Kadesh Barnea to the Zered valley in Deuteronomy.
* A "38" is often the name for a snub nose .38 caliber revolver
* Name of the southern rock band 38 Special
* The 38 class is the most famous class of steam locomotive used in New South Wales
* The number of the French department Isère
* There are 38 surviving plays written by William Shakespeare
* The gate of the sci-fi TV series Stargate SG-1 can stay open a maximum of 38 minutes.
* In Taiwan and some places in southern Chinese mainland, "3, 8", but not "38", is slang for stupid/idiot,especially women.



Now, here are some fun facts about the age 38, according to Tiffipedia:
* The number of times I pee my pants while sneezing, in a month.
* The number of years it took me to say "Screw it! I am happy with myself just the way I am", and truly mean it.
* The year I realized that having a chin hair grow three inches overnight was a foreshadow    into my future... Ben is a lucky man!
* The age I was when I celebrated 18 years of marriage to the man of my dreams, my oldest daughter turned 16 and my baby became a teenager. 


I remember when I was my girls age and meeting someone my age and thinking, "Good Lord, they are old. I hope I don't look that old when I am 38". I now know that 38 is not old, and those woman didn't look old, they simply looked wiser and more mature. As I am quickly creeping (rather, 'sprinting') up on the big 'three-eight',  I see just how wise I am. I am wise enough to know that I need at least 9 hours of sleep for my family to like me and that I require 2 cups of coffee in the morning before I can utter words, or those around me can utter words to me. Also, that I need to quit fighting the baggage under my eyes that looks like I am recovering from a severe case of the  'just had the nose job's, for the baggage will ALWAYS win! I am wise enough to be able to look at my husband and kids and to be truly grateful for them when I know that I am not worthy of having such awesome creatures love me. I am wise enough to know that even though I will make mistakes daily, I will also learn from them and not regret them. I am wise enough to know that my relationship with my parents will be an example to my kids on how to treat me. I am wise enough to know that I should NEVER leave the house without a bra on, even to walk to the mailbox. I am wise enough to know not to be embarrassed of/by my stretch marks, snuffalumpagus belly (what your belly looks like after a c-section), my gray hairs, and cottage cheese thighs, because they are all battle scars from motherhood. I am wise enough to know that not everyone is blessed with motherhood so that I should ALWAYS hold EVERY second precious with my babies, because the next second is never a guarantee.  I am wise enough to know that even though my child hood wasn't ideal, it was perfect for me because it made me who I am today. I am wise enough to know that without the love of my family and friends, my life would be nonexistent and without the unconditional love of God, NOTHING would matter... not even how wise I am. Lastly, I am wise enough to know that even with all my wiseness (yes, that's a word) I still know nothing. Now THAT is deep!


So, upon entering my 38th year, I want to say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU to my nearest and dearest. You all are responsible for making these first 38 (ok, 37 3/4 if you want to get technical) as wonderful as they have been. I am definitely wise enough to be ever thankful for you. 


*** I hope my wise family and friends took this as the huge reminder that my birthday is drawing near, so they better get shopping ;) ***

[edit]

Soul II Soul said it best...

Back to life. Back to reality. This is the song that was on a loop in my head as I taxied off of the Florida runway. I would soon forget the way the palms swayed in the breeze and the surf sounded as I drank my morning coffee. If I was an emotional person, I probably would have shed a tear right there on the plane.

Anyone that knows me well knows that I am meant to live on the water, most specifically, the ocean. I am happiest when I am surrounded by my family while my toes are in the sand.  Our summer vacation this year was in Panama City Beach and I loved it! The water was clear enough to see the hoards of jelly fish that resided there and the lone shark I saw about 30 feet from shore one morning while I drank my coffee. I was totally in my element. I got to see family I haven't seen in years, including my bub who I haven't seen since he was safely returned to us from Iraq (Thank you Lord). I also was surrounded by yummy seafood, need I say more?

Our very last full day was spent on Shell Island. OH.MY.GOODNESS! This place blew my eyeballs away! It was the most beautiful place I have ever been. It was totally unmarred by man. Everywhere I looked it was water, sand, grass, or sky... PERFECTION! The water was the most beautiful color of aquamarine, especially when it rolled into the powdery white sand. The dolphins were totally friendly and where happy to interact with the island visitors. Ben and the girls were about 50 feet from shore and saw a few smallish black tip sharks sharing their space with them. I could have stayed here FOREVER...

... and then I met the jellyfish. More specifically, the jellyfish introduced me to his tentacles. Now, to be fair, in the beautiful sunlit water my thighs could very easily be confused for some sort of albino sea creature. I knew instantly what was happening across both thighs (that's right, MY jellyfish was an overachiever). I started hopping back and forth and (allegedly) screaming like a little girl. Ben looked at me with both shock and embarrassment (his usual look regarding me) and cocked his head. I said, "I was just stung! I need you to take me to shore and pee on me!" His response was a very heartfelt... "pee on yourself". CHIVALRY IS DEAD! Needless to say, my remaining time on Shell Island was spent on the sand, enjoying the beautiful scenery and watching my family search for shells and have a ball in the water. I was definitely feeling very blessed with so much more than I deserve (except the sting. I totally deserved that). God is so good.

My plan for that last night in Florida was to do the mandatory 'tan shorts, white shirt, family pic' on the beach. I was so excited to capture that second in time and I very smartly planned it for our last night because I figured we (me) would be nice and tan by then. What I didn't account for was the actual shade of tan I would be after a day if being on a secluded island, sequestered to the very reflective sand. My skin tone was less 'burnt sienna' and more 'Elmo on fire'. Needless to say, the TSWS pic was not happening! Not because I was too vain to stand next to my beautifully tanned family members and be immortally captured and proudly displayed over the mantle for all to ogle (read 'laugh at'). It had more to do with the fact that blinking brought tears to my eyes and I am pretty sure I could hear my hair crying, so donning actual clothing was not an option. So instead, I would opt to spend my last night in paradise naked and covered in sticky aloe vera WITH LIDOCAINE (thank you again, God, for lidocaine *and wine*).

So as I sit here reflecting on my wonderful week in beauty I can't help but to note my lessons learned.
1. Apply sunscreen every 32 seconds while on an island
2. Don't plan pictures for the end of a vacation UNLESS you are diligent about #1
3. Eat more seafood
4. Remember where you park the rental car in the 7 level garage. Hitting the panic button doesn't really work when the horn bounces off of the stone walls.
5. Buy the picture of all four of you during dinner, even if there are cheese sticks smack-dab in the middle of it. It WILL be the only one of you all together the whole trip!
**** and possibly most import****
6. Take an ample supply of urine with you while visiting the ocean. You CAN NOT rely on your significant other to provide it in an emergency.

I am woman. Hear me yawn...

As you may have known, I have been out of the workforce for several years, due to raising babies and what-not. I LOVED being a stay-at-home-mom, but now that the girls are older I was ready to get out of the house during the day and use what was left of my brain. I could seriously feel myself getting dumber everyday. When I started looking, I was blessed to find a great job at our dentist office. The doctors and staff are amazing and I truly feel like I have been adopted into a second family. The staff consists of 11 women (the poor doctors are the only men) and all of us are mothers. That is so awesome because they all understand that your family comes first. Just yesterday Caty called me at work and said she was locked out of the house. Apparently, the battery on the garage pad had died (PSA - check your garage pad battery often)! Thankfully, I live less than 10 minutes from the office, so the gals covered me while I ran home to let my kids inside. As much as I love having a job and getting my smarts back, I love even more that the fam is finally realizing all that I did when I was 'available' anytime of the day. No longer are the 20 trips a week to the schools to bring forgotten homework or gym uniforms. Gone are the days when I was the first parent in line for pick-up (now Ali is usually the last one there). The Karacia's know that dinner on the table by six is a thing of the past, as is a clean house,  but it's all good! I know I was ready to get back into the workforce. I like feeling that I am contributing something to the bank account. Let's be honest, that is a HEAVY burden to bear on your own, and Ben did it for years without complaint, just so our girls would/could have me around all the time, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I consider it the biggest blessing of my like that I was able to be home with my kids everyday. Who cares if my laundry room now looks like the Dugger's live here! So what if we live on ramen noodles and peanut butter sandwiches because I only make it to the grocery on Fridays (if I'm lucky). I respect and appreciate all the working mothers out there. I had forgotten how hard it was to keep a house, raise kids, and hold a job at the same time. I am so thankful for Ben and the girls for supporting my decision to go back to work. They realized it was something I had to do for my own sanity. Hmmm, now that I think about it, it was probably just a selfish support on their behalf, because you know what they say "if momma is crazy, we're all gonna be crazy". 

Pilates is dangerous...

You know that pain you get when you get snapped by a rubber band? OUCH! Times that by a billion and that is what it felt like when my exercise band broke mid maneuver and smacked me in the face! Pilates is dangerous! I know that there are woman well into their 80's that are reaping the benefits of it, but dangit, I am in pain!
No one has ever accused me of being coordinated. I trip over my own feet...OFTEN. Remember my Facebook post regarding my not-so-graceful face plant because of my pajama pants? Things like that are almost a daily occurrence, but come on. I thought that an exercise that had no swift movements and is mainly  a bunch of core work and stretching was safe, even for me! I guess that is what I get for thinking! 
I have been a lover of Pilates for several years and really enjoy doing it, but it has not been without it's fair share of pain (and I'm not talking the good kind: NO PAIN NO GAIN). I'm talking about the sprained ankle I have gotten while trying to balance on one leg, the pulled quad muscle, and the twisted finger (don't ask me! I still can't figure that one out), but I must say, this band welt is the most painful. 
I whole-heartedly admit that this is a prime example of a 'first world problem'. "Oh, boo hoo, I hurt myself while getting myself in shape. I think I will ice my wounds while I plan my vacation." I have never been ashamed to look like a fool to my reader. I also have never been afraid to warn you of dangers, and let's not forget that this is why you are here now. 
PILATES IS DANGEROUS! And if you are me, so is walking, sitting, standing, breathing, eating, sleeping (remember when I woke up with 3 dislocated ribs), and probably very soon, typing.  
Now that I have informed you, I must go ice my face and my dignity.
Toodle-loo

I am a Republican and I DO NOT want to kill your grandma...

I REPEAT, I DO NOT WANT TO KILL YOUR GRANDMA! I would think that would be obvious and I wouldn't need to state it, but seeing as how it's election time again (UUUGGGHHH) and I keep hearing how awful Republicans are, I thought I would clear my name!

I am a Republican that DETESTS blanket statements such as the above. People (DEMS and REPS alike) that makes statements like this are just ignorant. They are ubër dangerous because they influence those that are too lazy to research on their own. This leads to uninformed voters basing their decision on lies and false promises...wait, that may be EVERY election, but I digress. Let's get back to me...I have heard that 'I' (because I am a Republican) not only want to kill your grandma, but also hate gays and the poor, love war, and am racist. In actuality, NONE of these bear any resemblance to my actual feelings.

I am a Republican that chooses not to make your sexual preference any business of mine. If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you. I happen to love someone WITH ALL MY HEART that is gay and I would stick up for them no matter the consequence. Why they need 'stuck up for' in this day and age still blows my mind, but that is a WHOLE OTHER BLOG ENTRY!

I am a Republican that doesn't look at you as anything other human, no matter what is in your bank account. If you need assistance, I will help you...as long as you are willing to help yourself in the process. I am not about getting 'something for nothing'. Just as my kids have to earn what they want, so should you. I grew up with a single mother who worked two jobs most of my childhood to provide for her kids. I remember only one time her being on welfare, and then it was only briefly, so her kids could eat. She did not rape the system and she certainly did not expect the government to continue to pay for the decisions she was making. I am very proud of her for that.

I am a Republican that does not love war. As a matter of fact, I wish for nothing more that for this war to be over with so I don't have to worry about my cousin being deployed again. I know, however, that sometimes it is necessary. But to reiterate, I HATE it!

I am a Republican that doesn't look at the color of your skin to determine your worth. I know and love several people of different ethnicities, and am a better person for it! Again, if you are nice to me, I will be nice to you!

Last, but not least, I am a Republican that hates politics. I love the idea of democracy, but we have become so skewed that I don't see us getting back to a productive form of government anytime soon.

Now, look me in the eyes so I know you are listening to me (sorry, I'm a mom and some habits are hard to break)... Blanket statements are bad, and totally false! Saying that all Republicans hate gays is like saying all Democrats are for abortion. Saying that all Democrats don't agree with the war is like saying that all Republicans are hypocrites. We need to remember that we are all screwed together, so why can't we all just get along!
That is all... but FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, LEAVE YOUR GRANDMA OUT OF IT!

I LOVE AMERICA!

The first step is admitting...

I am not ashamed to admit that I am currently suffering from an addiction. Like most addictions, I can't stop thinking about it when I am not in the midst of being consumed by it. This addiction is so NOT what I would ever expect myself enjoying. As a matter of fact, I tried it out by accident one day and that was all it took... I WAS HOOKED! So, it is with some embarrassment that I am admitting that I am addicted to THE WALKING DEAD. My 'happy-go-lucky' self CAN NOT GET ENOUGH of this zombiepocolypse tv show. I purposely kept my eyes away from it for one and a half seasons and then I'll be derned if Ben didn't find the marathon before the last episode of the first half of the second season (I hope that makes sense to you, because I got confused just typing it) and started watching them. I am a huge scaredy cat so this show scared the bejesus out of me just be seeing the commercials, but I could not take my eyes off of the tv. Now, every Sunday night you can find me planted on my couch with a blanket over my face, watching the zombies attack and the humans live another day. This is one of the best dramas I have ever been sucked into! I get excited for a tv show, and that hasn't happened since Beverly Hills 90210! Dare I say, Rick Grimes is a better character than Donna, Dillon, Kelly, Brenda, Brandon, David, Steve, and Andrea combined. If you love suspense and some gore (or even if you don't; I certainly am not a fan of either) then you need to check it out!! So it gives me nightmares, and makes me scared to walk to the bathroom after dark, but I CAN'T STOP!! Hopefully it doesn't get so bad that I need a Zombievention... I may go full medieval on someone! I gotta go! It's on is an hour and forty minutes and I have to prepare myself!

Cate and Maddie excepting the Dance Dare...

If you are someone with a TV, I am sure you are aware by now, of Ellen's Dance Dare. If you are not aware of what it is then I will enlighten you. Ellen sent out a dare to all her viewers to go up behind someone without them knowing it and start dancing (without getting caught). These videos are HYSTERICAL!!! Cate saw this segment and wanted to accept the challenge. Here are her and her friend Maddie getting their secret groove on at Target today! Hopefully their video will get picked to be showed on the segment. If not, oh well. They had A BALL doing this!!

THIS IS A BULLY-FREE ZONE...

It's about to get REAL up in here! I am so sick of all the bullying that goes on anymore. Yes, there was bullying when I was young (I know, I was the recipient of it), but it is seriously out of control. There are zero repercussions for kids anymore, at school OR at home. What is it going to take to make the adults who are in charge to WAKE UP?? Back in my time, this kind of behavior was mostly done out of school, because school officials would not tolerate it. Nowadays it happens IN school, IN FRONT of educators, and no one bats an eyelash; no one but the one getting bullied. It was recently brought to my attention that a girl who I have known since she was in Kindergarten was on the receiving end of a hideous form of meanery! Her peers, whom she has known since she was a toddler, thought it would be funny to nominate her to represent the class at the basketball homecoming ceremony. Enough kids agreed to do this and she was selected. I can only imagine how excited she was to hear this, only to be told by those same kids that it was all a joke. How cruel is that? How are kids so insensitive and unsympathetic anymore?
It's time EVERYONE with kids, or has direct ties to kids, to wake up and start taking responsibility! I am far from a perfect parent, but you can guarantee that if I ever heard of my kids acting this way there would be hell to pay. I am proud that Ben and I have raised two caring girls. They have been raised with the Golden Rule. For those of you that don't know what that is it's 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. It's a simple saying that is pretty self explanatory. It makes me sick that some parents don't take the time to teach their kids how to be accepting, tolerant, caring citizens. There is enough nastiness in the world; we don't need it in our backyards too. It breaks my heart that EVERYDAY there are beautiful, sweet kids, who go to school just to get harassed and ridiculed, and for what? Having a different style? Having brains? Having a speech impediment? Not having the 'right' clothes or hair color? Not being the 'right' size? Seriously folks, how can you possibly NOT do right by your kids and just sit them down and talk to them about how their words can weigh on others. You can't just assume your kids aren't going to join their peers in making fun of other kids in the hallway, because if they have never been on the receiving end of it they may not know how bad it can really hurt! Do your job as a parent and let them know that just like it's not OK to do drugs, text and drive, get in the car with strangers, eat lead paint, or swim before waiting 30 minutes after eating, that it's gross to belittle others for the sake of a laugh! It's not rocket science. It's called responsible parenting. Bullying is defined as aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions. It's pretty straightforward, if your kid wouldn't want it they shouldn't give it!
The facts and stats below brought tears to my eyes and made me nauseous.These numbers continue to rise every month...
- It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. Source: National Education Association.
- American schools harbor approximately 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. Dan Olweus, National School Safety Center.
- 1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.
- 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.
- 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.
- 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
- 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.
- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
- Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.
- 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying
- Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers.
- Bullying statistics say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings.
- 87% of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.”
- 86% of students said, “other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them” causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.
- 61% of students said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical abuse at home.
- 54% of students said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.
- According to bullying statistics, 1 out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying.
... please take heart parents. Even if you are sure that your kids aren't drinking the bullying kool-aid, talk to them. Ask if they are getting bullied. Ask if they have witnessed it. Ask if they have participated in it. JUST ASK! Get involved in their lives. Do what you can before it's too late; before they do irreversible damage to another, or before irreversible damage is done to them. We only get one shot at raising our kids to be good people. They will reach a point in their lives where they become permanently wired and they will ALWAYS be a bully or always be a victim. Save your kids while they are kids!

Awwww, welcome 2012...you smell like clean sheets line drying an a beach!

Here we are in 2012! I hope the new year found you in good health and good spirits. With the new year comes those dreaded 'new year resolutions'... lose weight, save money, eat better, exercise more, be a better _______ (you fill in the blank). I, personally, do not like setting myself up for failure, so if I feel like jumping on the bandwagon, my resolutions usually go something like this; I, Tiff Karacia, resolve to do my part for the US economy by keeping my kids clothed and fed. I then realize that half of their clothes are made over seas and their food is imported so I try again. I, Tiff Karacia, resolve to not let the four-leggeds control my home/life anymore. I then have to stop typing this to let my tiny doghuman on my lap so I can cover her up and keep her warm while she eats (so what? she prefers to eat while covered and curled up on my lap, what of it?). Hmmm, I guess that won't work either. Ok, third times a charm... I, Tiff Karacia, resolve to not resolute my new year. MUCH BETTER!

In all seriousness, there are things that I would like to do differently this year. I need to find a good church that has a GREAT youth program. I need to lose the weight I gained since I moved to Illinois. I need to find a job outside of this home so I stop talking to the plants (just kidding. we don't have plants. but I do carry on conversations with the doghumans, and they only respond to me when i throw 'treats' or 'outside' onto the end of my sentences, so it's not very good conversation). I want to learn how to use a sewing machine. I want to have more date nights with the hubs (our girls have found social lives so it's time we did the same). Most of all, I want to figure out a way to slow time. Ali will be 16 this year; how did that happen? I still am carrying around 20 pounds of baby weight, so how is he going to be driving? 2012 will be the start of her sophomore year and Cate's 7th grade year. Wow! My heart hearts a little just thinking about it.

None of us knows what 2012 has in store for us. We just need to remember to take it one day at a time and breathe in every single second that the Lord blesses us with; especially when it comes to those seconds we are blessed to spend with our family and friends. I hope everyone of you reading this finds happiness, love and an abundance of blessing this year. It will be as awesome as you allow it to be, SO ALLOW IT!