Look at that girl with the Daisy Don'ts on!

Here is a little something to listen to while you are reading this entry...

Click here for some ear candy for your reading enjoyment

You're welcome.

Ok, boys and girls (but mostly girls), today's lesson is on proper self-display etiquette. I have been disgusted for years at how young girls (and older ones, alike) are leaving very little to the imagination when it comes to wearing shorts, so I thought it would be helpful (let's face it, I am nothing if not helpful) for me to break it down into a few simple steps for you.

1.) IF YOU HAVE TO SHAVE OR WAX IN ORDER TO WEAR THEM, THEY ARE TOO SHORT!

you missed a spot

The sad part about this 'phenomanon' is that there seems to be no minimum age to start donning these hooker shorts. Some of the shorts I have seen in Abercrombie make the US Sand Volleyball 'uniforms' seem conservative. Parents, please FORTHELOVEOFGOD, before you buy that 4 inches of denim for your daughters, think of all of the perverts that are going to be ogling your little princess and JUST SAY NO!

2.) IF YOUR BATHING SUIT BOTTOMS HAVE MORE MATERIAL THAN YOUR SHORTS, THEY ARE TOO SHORT!

can we stop at the beach later?

This one is pretty self explanatory.

3.) IF YOU HAVE GIVEN BIRTH, IT'S MOST DEFINITELY TIME TO RETIRE THE DAISY DUKES!

mom o' the year

"The best accessory for my daisy dukes is my baby's stroller", said NO ONE EVER! The fact that you are pushing a stroller and video taping your angel frolicking in the water fountain should be all the proof needed that your hooker shorts days are behind you! What makes me gag even more is when I see mom and daughter wearing almost identical DD shorts while out and about!

4.) (thought this would be a given BUT there is always one person that ruins it for everyone)
IF YOU ARE 20 YEARS POST MENOPAUSE, THEY ARE TOO SHORT!

catherine bach on her way to shady pines

If you have to wash your dentures while your dukes are in the rinse cycle, it's time to retire them. But let's face it, you still can't quit looking at this picture.

Listen girls, I know that you are young and proud of your bodies, BUT, there is a very fine line between self confidence and looking like a skank. Maybe it's not that fine of a line, but please have a little self respect along with that self confidence. Think about how you want to portray yourself and how you want others to perceive you.

Parents, please take note that those shorty shorts you are buying for your daughters have the potential to be a 'gateway drug' to shorter shorts and less clothing.

"look ma, no pants"

If you ask me, this is the way to go!

mom jeans!!!!