Friday, November 2, 2012

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?...

I see brown back hair looking at me. 

I read this Eric Carle book hundreds of times over the first several years of my girls' childhoods. They loved his books. Although I took the liberties to change it up a bit in this post, that book title was the first thing that popped into my head at 3:45 this morning when I woke up sandwiched between twin-like sights. 

Picture this: As I am sleeping soundly on my right side, I am awaken by something pressing into the length of my back and head. It (he) is running at a marathoners pace in his sleep, probably chasing some very scary chipmunks from our yard. I feel the wiry back hairs of my Hank sticking into my exposed neck. In front of me is the wiry back hairs of my main man, the love of my life. Why I am pressed up against him baffles me, for I LOATHE touching anything but my pillow and blanket while I sleep. (Maybe it had something to do with the 130 pounds of chipmunk hunter at my back). I know that I must release myself from this prickly slow death, so I TRY (have you ever been trapped between two cement slabs? I'm sure this was a close second) to rotate my body so that one or both will move, but this only makes the running at my back turn into a sprint and the steady breaths at my front turn into snores that actually sound like they could be coming from a brown bear. #FAIL

Needless to say, the longer I laid there and started picturing what we looked like, the funnier it became. I let out a little chuckle, and wouldn't you know it, the chipmunk hunter lifted his head, looked at me, let out a disgusted sigh (which I can only translate to "Thanks a pant load for waking me up. What kind of idiot laughs in the middle of the night?", and hopped down on his bed.( Remember, he has a twin size bed in our room, but apparently it's not big enough for him. )

So, boys and girls, the lesson for today is this... If you ever find yourself sandwiched between two brown bears, just laugh. Or not. Actually I think you are supposed to play dead or ring a bell, or something like that, but the laughing worked for me.

Artist rendering of what went down

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